Wednesday, 29 October 2014


Last week I read Sheridan Voysey's book 'Ressurection Year'.

I wanted to read it for a couple of reasons:
  1. Due to disability, I've had to and will have to let a lot of dreams go. I wanted to hear how others  have coped with the pain of having to release dreams back into God's hands.
  2.  The question of suffering - or as Sheridan's wife, Merryn says "Is God a meanie?" I have strong opinions on this, but I'm always interested in hearing what others think.

I don't want to say much about what the book says and the conclusions it comes to…. go buy the book if you want to know that!

The dreams Sheridan and Merryn have had to let go are different to mine - but also similar in a couple of points: Children and ministry

I made the decision before I married Steve that having children would not be a good idea. As a teenager it was my dream to be a mum, but with my own health, medical history and the risk of passing on my health problems, I could see it wasn't a good or a safe dream.
It's been a difficult dream to release, not helped by unthinking comments and people feeling they can share their opinions on my decision. But it was right to do so.  It's taken a long time - but I'm at peace with that decision. I don't bite people's heads off for making silly or insensitive comments any more either!

I've had my moments of asking if God is a meanie, but I know without a doubt He's not.  Just read back over some of my blogs and you will see behind them the wrestling I've done and the fight I engage in to protect children from some very dangerous theology on suffering.  (See one of those blogs here)

But this book was about broken dreams and knowing when to leave them behind.

That’s a hard one - the one about having kids was a hard one emotionally, but in every other way it was a 'no brainer'. The hurt of no kids vs the pain of watching your child suffer in a multitude of ways, and not have the physical ability to care for them…… yep - no brainer.

I know there will be people from the miracle brigade who will vehemently disagree with that, telling me I have no faith - I should have had a child and trusted them to God….. Yes, people actually have said stuff like that. Well, bless you for sharing your thoughts I say…… but this decision was between me, Steve and God.  It was right to let the dream go.

People with disabilities have to let many dreams go, and so do parents of children who have additional needs and disabilities. Many of the things you have longed for and hoped for are gone either in a moment, or wrapped up and thrown away in a slow decline.

It's not a case of choosing to let these dreams go - it a decision that's been made for us.

At the moment I'm looking at what I do as a children's worker and a consultant. More work is coming my way that I am gifted for and able to physically achieve - but it means having to choose what to let go. That means looking at many long held dreams and seeing which ones to release.

Although I can 'do' all of the things I do, the physical energy expended on some of them means I have to do less of other things to balance out my energy. I need to work smarter - which means I need to dream smarter too. (At the moment I'm dreaming of getting my regular days off back!!)

Some of my dreams I can release to others, and enable them to fly with those dreams whilst allowing them to adapt the dream into their own way of working - this is good and healthy.

Others, I have to accept will be laid down permanently, unless God chooses to lay them on someone else's heart.

I'm at peace with all this - yes, really!

If you too are facing having to lay down a dream, 'Resurrection year' may well be a help. For me it was a moment of feeling God's hand squeezing my shoulder and Him saying "yes, I know…. Yes, I care, and yes I'll be with you and guide you as pass some of your dreams on to another" I also had the assurance of a fresh vision/dream to take forward - still as a kids worker and consultant… but working and dreaming 'smarter'.

Keep dreaming my friends.

Monday, 18 August 2014

Returning to Blogging.... In One Place

It's been a while since the last post hasn't it?!
Life has been rather chaotic with lots of different writing projects, conferences, assemblies, camps and Children Worldwide stuff. Sadly, when life gets so busy, the first thing that has to go is the blogging!

My hubby and I also have a ministry blog - that we never seem to have time to keep updated...... mainly because I'm not good at describing what is going on in our life and ministry. Plus, the system we were using wasn't very accessible visually, so I was finding it difficult to use. I tweet constantly about what we are doing and tend to hope people follow that.... but not everyone does twitter!

Whilst on the last week of Hungarton Camp we had an email to say the servers where our ministry blog is held had been hacked.... did we still want the blog? We made the decision to close it before we checked if our blog had been affected, it hadn't, but we still feel it's a good decision.
So.... Having tried extra pages on here, I've now decided to have another Blogger site under the same title as the previous blog "The Morgan-Gurrs" - much easier to administer (Bigger font and accessed more easily from the systems I use!)

Meanwhile - I have the basis for a few 'musings' blogs going around in my head!

Currently I'm pondering the question: Have you noticed that most children's teaching about serving God has "God will reward you" as the central reason for serving? Should we also be saying "Do it just because you love God so much, and because your service is worship"?

I will continue to ponder!

Friday, 23 May 2014

Amazing Stories About Some Amazing Young People

I’ve been thinking through what I’m going to say at the new “Neos” conference - a conference designed to "Equip all for family, youth + children's ministry". 

Aside from some sessions in the Additional Needs Alliance stream, I’ve been asked to do a 7 minute “Quick Insight” on additional needs.

What can I say in 7 minutes? 

What I want to do is to be positive!

Then I felt a blog post ‘coming on’. It wrote itself whilst I was in the bath…..! (I do some of my best thinking whilst in the bath!)

Friday, 2 May 2014

Choosing Speakers - Regardless.....

There’s loads of tweets and posts out there on conferences only having white male keynote speakers.

Do I support this campaign? Absolutely I do! 
I am blessed to know many gifted female speakers and speakers of a different ethnicity, and I am happily cheering them on from the sidelines. The conferences who don’t use them are missing out on a huge blessing.

Wednesday, 30 April 2014

A Cold & Broken Hallelujah

I’ve thought long and hard about writing this blog post.

It’s a vulnerable one…. and I hate being vulnerable.

But it keeps screaming at me to be written, and this is my third attempt at writing it!

It stems from a seminar that Steve and myself did at Spring Harvest called “Coping With the Onset of Disability”. I wasn't totally sure about doing it, but as I've quoted in another post - God appeared to think it was a good thing!

Friday, 25 April 2014

Stolen Dignity

Dignity: “The state or quality of being worthy of honour or respect.”

We use the word dignity in many ways, and as a result its real meaning has been eroded a lot over the years. 

I'm often described as dignified - but by that most people mean I don't complain much (they don't know me very well!)

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

On International Women's Day - Think Disability Too

In all the discussions surrounding women's rights in the lead up to International women's day, disability seems to be one area that doesn't get much of a mention.

As a campaigner for disability rights in both children and adults - I want to speak out. But I'm going to let the United Nations and the World Bank do the talking for me.